Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
