It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
