Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's shark week go big or go home
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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