Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize