I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
