he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize