They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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