My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
