Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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