Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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