I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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