I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
