I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the day after is always just damage control
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize