are you so shy because you have an std?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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