I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
