You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
zippers are such a cool invention
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
