All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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