I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
