meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
