ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You ruined the universe
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
