That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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