: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
