im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
