Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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