i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
