He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
