I feel great
I just peed on a car
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Found your dick twin last night
Are we still banned from the library?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
