It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
