when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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