i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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