dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
