Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
