Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
