no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
