If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
