i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
