i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
