Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize