They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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