puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
