i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
