You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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