Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
