Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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