You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
