I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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