Whatcha textin bout Willis?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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