honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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