how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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