I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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