but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize