You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
