Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
