Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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