He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
