once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
