i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
