I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
