Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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