I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Less talking, more tequila
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
