ya dads aren't the best wingmen
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Randomize
