the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
