actually, I'm a sock model
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize