we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
