You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
