so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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