Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize