Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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