I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
