After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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